The Retarded Talkshow
by Garry Host Laptop
Summary: This is NOT a copy from Starls's Talkshow. But the rules will be the same! Give dares! Questions! MOAR CHARACTERS!OC! Well look! Oh and Some Portal and Portal2 or other game characters may come out so stay tuned!
1. Episode 1

Chapter 1

The Start of the _Retarded_ Interviews

* * *

><p>?: Hiya guys! Whoops! I didn't turn on the lights didn't I? *turns light* There! My name is J, Commander of the DELTA and if you want to find out what it stands for, find my review in Megaman Starforce Talk Show by 741852AuthorNicolaStarlaLili (Hah! It will be like finding a needle in the Pacific Ocean :D)<p>

?: Hey watcha' doin' J?

J: Oh, hi Mia! How ya' doin'?

Mia: Just fine. I made some cake, want some?

J: Nah, I already ate some Jaffas. Well, back to the episode…

Mia: Oh wait… are we on air?

J: Yep. Well, it is quite quiet around here isn't it?

?: Indeed. Well, I'll call out GLaDOS(The Robot from Aperture Science Laboratories. The main computer) for a moment.

J: Thanks Giga. But I thought she was your enemy?

Giga: We _were_ enemies. Not now.

J: So she's your friend?

Giga: Not exactly.

Mia: Hey, readers might think this is 100% different from their thoughts! Let's get on with these stuffs!

J: Well, this is getting boring, I'll spawn the characters.

Giga: One sec, wasn't Starla( from Megaman Talk show) doing the talk show?

J: Good question. Since Starla wasn't updating for a while, I decided to do it.

Starla: I'm updating soon you know!

J: STFU AND START TYPING! I'M ALSO A FAN OF YOURS SO HURRY UP!

Starla: *groan* Fine…

J: Well, *sits in front of a huge computer*I'll start up the teleporting console.

*types: 4585125-575812-546825455-4685fadf-46a-154896WAS-MS46558-78315SDOS

=dllja486d2s2g2j57864+|dfdsa5a%-=======POWER_UP_INITIATED=======

STARTING_CONSOLE =\Telepotation_

=======STARTING…=======

45.8702% Complete…

67.84% Complete…

96.9923% Complete…

100% Complete

=======TELEPORTING=======*

*FLASH!*

J: Wahh!

Master Computer: WARNING. CORE OVERHEATING. PLEASE INSERT A CORE TO CORE TRANSFER.

J: What? But we don't have any cores!

GLaDOS: Why did you call me-?

Giga: Oh S*bleep*t…

Mia: PLUG GLaDOS IN! HURRY!

GLaDOS: Wait wha-

J: *plugs in GLaDOS in the core transfer machine*

Announcement: CORE INSERTED. CORROPTED CORE, ARE YOU READY?

Master com's core: YeS… HuRRy Up!1!11!one!

Announcement: SUBSITITUTE CORE, ARE YOU READY?

GLaDOS: NO! NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!

Giga: Oh you will! *presses stalemate button* There!

Announcement: CORE TRANSFER WILL BEGIN IN 5…4…3..2.1…

GLaDOS: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO- AHHHHHHH-!

* * *

><p><em>After a long-eye-spiking core transfer…<em>

GLaDOS: Hey, this actually feels better than my old body!

J: Well, the teleport system is on so can you start it up GLaDOS?

GLaDOS: Fine….

* * *

><p>Geo: *awakens* Awww… where am I?<p>

Sonia: *awakens* I dunno…

Mega: WHAT THE HELL

J: Hey guys! My name is—

Solo: STHU AND TELL US WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON HERE YOU CRAZY BASTERD!

J: Jeez, calm down. I'm J and—

Mega: EM-Wave Change Geo!

Geo: Transcode ID: 003, TRANSCODE! MEGAMAN!

Sonia and Solo: *wave changes same as Geo*

Mega: LET'S TEAR THIS PLACE DOWN!

* * *

><p><em>2 hours later... and the studio is still good as new.<em>

Geo: *huff* *huff* We can't even make a single scratch on this stupid studio?

Sonia: I give up... *goes to the bedroom*

Solo: *goes to the emo corner* I...I...III...I..I..

Mega: I CAN'T GIVE UP! BLACK ACE GEO!

Geo: OK! *transforms into Black Ace*

* * *

><p><em>2 more hours later...<em>

Geo: I give up *faints*

Mega: Urh... I...Impossible...

J: *shuts down force field* Well, you see, these walls are made using Neutron Stars and triple diamond coated. So, you can't do anything unless I shut down the facility. However, GLaDOS is now in charge so ask her,

Lyra: Can we...?

GLaDOS: No. Too bad. You'll have to cooperate with us. For GeoXSonia fans. EM Being.

Mia: Well, it's late so we should all go to sleep. *yawns* Hey J, can I sleep with you~?

J: Ummmmm... Well...I guess...but don't... wait *anxious face* WHY ARE YOU MAKING A TROLL FACE?

Mia: *pulls out a rope out of nowhere and troll face* OH YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

GLaDOS: Please put a review that is requesting dares, questions and don't worry about us.

Solo: !

GLaDOS: Humans...

J: GET AWAY! *hides in the male toilet* Oh and IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW WE LOOK JUST READ MY PROFILE OK? AND THIS IS NOT A PORTAL 2 CROSS OVER(other game characters are welcome so don't forget it! :D)

Mia: J! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

J: NO S*bleep*T SHERLOCK!

* * *

><p>We're quite off topic now. So help us! :(<p> 


	2. Episode 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Living _Hell_

* * *

><p>J: Hello and we're back!<p>

Mia: Althrough we had some... _technical_ issues...

GLaDOS: How is having *# technical..?

Mia: GLaDOS, IF YOU SAY ONE MORE TIME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, I AM GOING TO DISASSEMBLE YOU, CRUSH YOU AND PUT YOU INTO THE INCINERATOR

GLaDOS: Well I did record it heheheh...

J: I AM GOING TO SEND YOU TO HELL

GLaDOS: Well, ANDROID hell is a real place you know. First, the way to my old lair and second, the old testing tracks – test chamber 16.

Giga: Could we start now? This is abit getting off topic.

Mega: Haven't I seen you somewhere...? *pointing at Giga*

Giga: *press a button * No. We've fixed the teleportation system which I have in my hand now-

* * *

><p>*a huge flash*<p>

* * *

><p>J: WAHHH!<p>

Mia: Wait, you said it was fixed.

Giga: Yep, that was the ligting problem.

GLaDOS: Oh, I thought I've fixed that. *Windows 7 startup sound* There. Problem Solved.

* * *

><p>*Ace, Tia, Jack, Hope, Kelvin, Luna, Bud and Zack gets teleported*<p>

* * *

><p>Zack: WHAT THE HELL<p>

Bud: *snore* .wah wah?

Luna: GEO!:D *gets hit by a random laptop*

Solo: *still in the emo corner* I..II...i..i.I...

Laplace: *pats Solo's back* ...

Hope: Oh Geo! Where have you been!

Kelvin: *drunk* IM HOME HONEY!

Ace: WAIT! I WAS EATING MY MEGASTAKZ!

Tia: And I was teaching my class...

J: Ok, settled up... Now... Mia..?

Mia: Yep, the reviews! This one is from _GeminiSparkSP!_

* * *

><p><em>Trans in!<br>Hi there. It's been long since the last time I reviewed this kind of fic. And to think that I almost lost passion in ToDs...  
>Anyway, are you going to use SF casts only, or are you going to use the entire MM series cast?<em>

_Ok, I'll cut the dung and move on to the dares:  
>-Tie Luna to a chair, gag her, and have Geo and Sonia make out in front of <em>_her.  
>-Come on, Ace. Be a man and give Tia the ring already!<br>-Geo again, ask your parents for a biological brother.  
>-Kelvin and Hope, you heard him. The bedroom's over there, get going. And make sure we see what's coming in the next 9 months.<br>That's all I have for now. Don't forget to update soon.  
>Until the next chapter!<br>Trans out!_

* * *

><p>J: This guy has a good hand writings... I like it! START! Unfortunatly, I would say only MMSF and MMBN(since OSS)<p>

Ace: Tia... I...I...I...

Tia: Ace... I...I.I..

Mia: Next.

* * *

><p>Sonia: Luna's dead.<p>

J: Not in my world! *uses reviever orb*

Luna: SONIA YOU B$#%H!

Mia: Appropriate word is Appropriate.

Sonia: *ties Luna in a chair while gagging her* TAKE THIS!

Luna: -

* * *

><p>Kelvin: *recoverd*...<p>

Hope:...

J: Go on!

GLaDOS: I have prepared a room for you... *panels move aside from walls and reveals a room* Please proceed into this room.

Kelvin: But I re- *looks at J's death glare and the incinerator besides him* never mind!

Hope: Well... How bad could this be?*goes in*

GLaDOS: *shuts panels on the wall* Well, we'll see after 9 months.

J: Well, next is from _Superginji19!_

* * *

><p><em>Ok Dares<em>

_Geo: Make out with Sonia_  
><em>Solo: your one of my favorite characters besides Geo and Sonia, so you get to torture Luna! *please invite Luna for this*<em>  
><em>J: can you invite my character Ginji and his wave partner Chaos.<em>  
><em>well that's all update soon!<em>

* * *

><p>J: I'm not sure to have more friends... E-mail so I can know how Ginji and Chaos looks like. EVERYTHING IS GOOD BUT I PREFER DRAWING AND PICTURES. Oh and Solo will be inviting those 2.<p>

Solo: *recovered* Wait, why the hell am I...!*looks at J tapping the incinerator and whistling* I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING!

GLaDOS: Humans... how _ironic-_!*looks at J pulling out a disassembling gadget*...

J: *still whistling* I do not what to use this to you GLaDOS...

GLaDOS: *panic* I...I'll take those words back!

J: *puts back the disassembling gadget* Good.

Geo: *reads* Wait, what?

Sonia: *evil giggle* Well... Geo...?

Geo: ... ._. *crushed by Sonia*

Sonia,Geo: *Kissing with making moans*

GLaDOS: *throws 2 into a bedroom* Don't worry. I set up a camera.*

Solo: *glares at Luna* Pesky girl... Why were you born?

Luna: *cries* BOO HOO HOO!

Giga: I guess thats all it for today.

Mia: *brings a chocolate cake in* Cakes anyone?*winks at J*

J: *eats one piece* Wow! This is amaz...ing...uhh...wha..ts go..ing..on..?

Mia: Sleeping pills. *takes out sleeping pills and smirks*

J: Nnnno...*falls asleep*

Mia: Heheheheheheh...*pulls J in a bedroom*

GLaDOS: Humans...

Zack: What about me and Bud?

Giga: Oh, just go to bed.

Zack: Yay for laziness? *goes into a bedroom*

Bud: *awakens* Huh...? Did anything happen...?

Giga: Go to bed. *throws Bud into a bedroom by using crimson balls*

GLaDOS: *sigh* ... Goodbye everyone.

* * *

><p>I will be updating often so don't worry! C'MON! MORE DARES! MORE QUESTIONS! MORE CHARACTERS (you have to describe the looking in the review or my e-mail)! :D<p> 


	3. Episode 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**MOAR FRIENDS! :D**

* * *

><p>Geo: Urk...?<p>

Sonia: Whe-when... DID WE END UP IN THIS CACOON LOOKING THINGY?

Zack: *half awake* Pancakes...

Bud: *still snoring as usual*

GLaDOS: Oh. You have awakened in the Aperture Science Relaxation Vault(ASRV).

J: *sunglasses* Hey 'YA ALL GOOD?  
>Mia: *sunglasses too* IM FELLIN' GOOOOOOOOOOOOO*hic*OOOOD*hic*!<p>

Giga: How much have you guys have been drinking?

J: *drunk* ONLY *hic* 12 bottles of *hic* vodka, 8 *hic* bottles of sake, and 23 cups of *hic* wine!

Ace: First of all, GET US OUT OF THIS WEIRD CACOON LOOKING THING

Tia: Second of all, HOW CAN YOU DRINK ALCOHOL? YOU'RE ONLY 13!

J: WHO THE F*bleep*K SAID IM 13?*hic*

GLaDOS: It is true. Aperture has been testing our brand new chemical reducer and made those into pills.

Giga: Unfortunately, J and Mia thought it was candy and swallowed it.

Jack: So how old are they?

Giga: Hmmm... About... 21 years now?

Ace: *still slamming the glass of the vault to get out* WHAT?

?: I see you are having fun now...

GLaDOS: Oh, if it isn't my _corrupted _test subject...Alphy?

Alphy: GLaDOS! I AM HERE TO DESTROY YOU! I HAVE DISABLED ALL OF YOUR-

J: YEAH *hic* SHUT UP AND GET IN THE TALKSHOW

Alphy: Wait what?

Mia: I'LL *hic* READ THE FIRST REVIEW...!

Alphy: WHY THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO HEL-*thrown into the Incinerator* AHH-

Giga: Never mind that and this one is from _Denizen Of Madness_!

Mia: WHY ARE YOU *hic* readin' teh reviews BACKWARTD!

Giga: Look here, I'm reading the way you gave it to me ):(

* * *

><p><em>Hello, Mr.J. I love fanfictions like this. Now, onto the Dares.<em>

_1. Bring Margaret Moonlight from No More Heroes 2 in. Have her fight Geo, please._

_She's an assasin who dresses in the Gothic Lolita style and has twin scythes that double as guns. I suggest you look her up on google images; I'm not good at describing apperances. Oh, yeah. Look up her theme song, 'Philistine' on Youtube; It describes her personality perfectly._

_Solo eat 1,000,000 moon pies at once._

_Luna watch the entire Twilight series._

_Thank you in advance._

_PS. Tell Glados that Wheatly sends his regards. He's coming for her._

* * *

><p>GLaDOS: HAH! LIES! He's actually in spa...<p>

*door knock*

GLaDOS: *opens door* Who is... D:)

Aaron Boreal: Ummm... Is this DELTA Studio Facility?

Wheatly: *in Aaron's arm* THATS HER!

J: *snaps out* OH PIECE OF-

Mia: *snaps out* CRUD!

GLaDOS: WHERE IS THE INCINERATOR? AT LEAST A CRUSHER!

Alphy: *gets up in the incinerator and starts running around* NO! HE'S GOING TO ANNOY THE S*#T OUT OF US!

Wheatly: SEE! I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE BACK DOOR!

Mr. Boreal: Well.. that isn't the right manners...

Giga:*coughs* Ahem... Shall we move on?

GLaDOS: WITH THAT MORON?

Wheatly: I AM NOT A MORON!

Mia: SHUT UP!

Solo: I have invited Ginji and his partner.*shows Ginji and Chaos*

Wheatly: Wow...

Mr. Boreal: LOOK HERE, WHERE ARE PEOPLE KEEP GETTING FM OR AMI-ANS?

Ginji: *in TF2 Medic voice* I have no idea!

_Ginji has a scar on his head. He has really spiky hair that has the colors red and orange. His shirt has the same symbol as his scar with a black background, a pair of navy blue jeans, and a pair of black finger less gloves. Then his shoes are mostly red except the white diamond on the front of his shoe._

Chaos is an AMian that looks like a cross over between wolf and mega but his armor was black, red, and silver. His EM waves were red and he has the same scar on his armor like Ginji's.

Chaos: So we're the new Ocs?

J: Yep. Just wait until it's your turn.

*a dark maid looking woman teleports in here*

J: Oh...

Geo: WHAT! I'M FIGHTING A WOMAN WHO HAS GIGANTIC GUNS?

Mia: That makes it more interesting.

Margaret Moonlight(I'll call you M.M): Ready Geo?

Mega: OK GEO! BLACK ACE-*Head shoted*

Geo: NUUU-*head shot*

M.M: Piece of cake.

Sonia: NO! GEO!*death glare at M.M* YOU WILL PAY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE*starts to pull M.M's hair*

M.M: OUCH! STOP! MEARCY!

J: Next.

Solo: Why do people hate me...

Mia: Because you are actually an a*#^$e.

Solo: *start eating moon pies while crying* OM NOM NOM NOM NOM..

Luna: NO! ANYTHING BUT THE-*gets thrown into a room filled with Twilight books and movies*

GLaDOS: No escaping from me.

Alphy: *goes near the emergency shutdown button* …

M.M: *TF2 Sniper voice* I see ya! *boom!* Head shot!

Alphy: *dead*

Mia: Next is from again, _GeminiSparkSP_!

_Trans in!_

_Wow, I didn't expect you to update so soon. In fact, maybe you should update a bit later, like say, 3 days, a maximum of 1 week. That way, you'll get more reviews and more time to set up the next chapter._

_Anyways, to the dares:_

_-Solo, you think you're a tough guy? Fight each and every bosses from MMSF 1-3 AT ONCE. If you really did it, then you have the privilege to be 'greeted' by Captain Falcon (said greeting is actually a falcon punch to your crotch that will send you to oblivion before you could even say "Transcode Solo!"). If by any chances you don't know who Captain Falcon is, then use the strongest and the most badass character you have in mind._

_-Luna, you have my mercy. Go make out with the nearest twisted, double-minded psycho. *winks at Pat*_

_-Bud, transcode now, eat the spiciest ginger beef you've ever made, sprinkle some pepper to your nose, and sneeze at...hmmm...aha! Rich Doctom. You know, Yeti Blizzard._

_That's all I have for now. Don't forget to give it some time between chapters._

_Until the next chapter!_

_Trans out!_

Giga: I do like his hand writing..

J: MIA! DO NOT UPLOAD ANY STORIES WHILE I'M AWAY!

Mia: Sorry! My friend was waiting!(she did actually by accident)

J: Yep.. Sorry guys.. I was at a vacation to protect our intelligent briefcase.

Solo: *moon pies still stuffed in his mouth* MHM! HM HM! (Translation: BRING IT ON! SUCKARS!)

J: *spawn bosses with spawn orb* Let the battles begin!

Ginji: *eats popcorn with Chaos* Nom Nomnom...

Solo: MHHH MHH MH-(Translation: TRANSCODE! SOLO-)

Captain F.: FALCON.. PAWNCH!

Solo: *flies into the incinerator*

Mia: That was cheesy.. Lame!

Luna: *eyes bleeding due to the Twilight dare* NEVER!

J: *uses Mind Twist orb* Do it.

Luna: Yes master*makes out with Pat and starts making out*

Mia: *films*

Bud:... Okay.. *gulps in front of the volcano sauced ginger beef* OM Nah.. ah..aH..Ah.. AH..ACHOO!*sneezes into a portal that leads to Rich Doctom*

Rich: WTF!

GLaDOS: The final lucky person is... _Superginji19_!

_Nice Chapter_

_But anyway on to the Dares!_

_Solo I dare you to fight Ginji who will be in his wave form Chaos Shadows, He has a helmet across his head that looks like chaos' head,he has an infrared visor, he has armor covering his wrist to his elbows, then a chest plate that has the same symbol as his scar, then two sheaths on his back one holding murasame the other chaos murasame, black fingerless gloves, a black suit, and his shoes look the same but are air shoes like shadow the hedgehog._

_Bud and Ace EATING CONTEST!_

_Lyra and Mega Chase Luna with chainsaws!_

_Ginji give J a hypno watch because he'll need it._

_that's all oh and Ginji's transcode is 19_

Solo: *gets revived by the orb* WHY DID YOU REVIVE ME? WHY?

Ginji: TRANSCODE ID 019! TRANSCODE! CHAOS SHADOWS!

Solo: WAIT-

Chaos: TIME TO CHOP SOME BASTERDS!

Solo: BATTLE CARD! GAURDIAN!*spawns 20 guardians* Whew...

Ginji: *slices them into pieces* YEAH! CHOPPY CHOPPY BOTS! :D

Mia: Now that's every lumberjack's dream :D*joins in with a saw blade*

J: NO MIA! YOU'LL RUIN THE BATTLE!

Ginji: Don't worry! I finished them off before she joined in!

Mia:*groan* AW COME ON!

J: *kisses Mia on the cheek* That will calm her for a minute!

Mia: *hypnotized* ?_?

Giga: NEXT!

Bud and Ace: *starts eating 500 Megasnackz* OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Lyra: It's been a while battling with me Mega?

Mega: Ummm... It sure is...*blushes*

Luna: GOD SAVE ME!*gets sliced into pieces*

* * *

><p>Ginji: Delivery!<p>

J: I don't need it. I already have a watch called Darkness Ringer.

Ginji: What does it do?

J: Hypnotizes people, disguise, cloning, clocking(invisible but not invincible)..all sorts of stuffs.

Ginji: Oh ok then.

J: *looks at D.R(Darkness Ringer)* 9:30 PM? No wonder I was sleepy!

Zack: I never get noticed...

Jack: Me too..

Acid: I CAN'T BELIVE THAT I'M NOT FAMOUS ON F.!

*all the EM beings that didn't get noticed starts complaining*

J: Don't worry guys.. It's just that your not lucky! Or not often appearing in the episodes!

Mia: -_? What happened?

J: *injects an 'UN-SUSPICIOS-LOOKING-LIQUID' in Mia* Nothing. Now go to sleep my angel..

Mia:*snores*

J: Don't forget to review, subscribe and comment about it!

GLaDOS: And those that has skype, you can share a fiction file by adding plazma4682 and clicking on 'share...' so we can get more Ideas!

Giga: Characters needed, not a moron like Wheatly.

Wheatly: SHUT UP!

Ginji: On Chapter 5, we are planning to do the 'Uber Battles of Histories' so get prepared!

Captain F.: IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW THESE RULES, I AM GOING TO USE FALCON PAWNCH AGAIN!

P. Bear: And I'm gonna creep you...heheheh..

* * *

><p>Well, sorry for being late because of the 'American trip'. I also learned a new thing in New York. The American's favorite topping on a burger is... Another Burger! XD<p> 


End file.
